Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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