I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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