David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
