This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
