after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
