are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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