they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
