That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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