I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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