Taylor Swift is so right about you.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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