You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
