Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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