SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
