Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
