Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize