So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
