whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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