Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
