Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
