Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
