I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
