what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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