Jerry, you need to find god
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
