when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
