New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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