Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
