I didn't shave. On purpose
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
you never un-have a 4some
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Damn victory sex feels great
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
