Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
