I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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