Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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