her vagine was all disorganized.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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