you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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