What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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