Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
