Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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