Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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