After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize