I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Randomize
