the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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