She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
