Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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