well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
