He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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