Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
