is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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