This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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