Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
