Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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