i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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