So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
