When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
