If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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