Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize