The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
