My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
my shit smells like andre
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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