Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
