Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
