I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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