I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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