What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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