So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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