we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
