just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
