things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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