At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
