I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
