So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
