sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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