1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
