i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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