Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
